A Mere Lovers Spat.

Ryan Adams show last night in Kansas City can be adequately compared to Joaquin Phoenix’s interview recently on The Tonight Show with David Letterman: funny and entertaining, but not what you hoped to see. Ryan Adams half assed the whole show and literally left hundreds of fans last night saying, “That’s it?”

I feel like I’ve been dumped. Via text. The relationship started going sour when he took a break approximately 30 minutes into the set so the audience could get “more booze.” The crowd looked down at their full clear plastic cups of beer and thought to themselves, “I’m good. Didn’t the show just start?” (Yes, it had and it started almost 45 minutes late.) Things continued to go downhill with a faster rendition of “Everybody Knows.” The quick beat remix sounded rushed and sloppy.

He played as if he just wanted the whole night to be over. I know this leg of the tour was a make up and he announced his retirement and blah blah blah. However, you are a musician. You are paid (and richly I assume) to play the guitar with your mates for three hours a night to people who absolutely adore you. Fake it for all I care.

Oh but there were positives about last night. Very little was played off their new album and was replaced with songs such as “Come Pick Me Up” and “I See Monsters.” Frequent jam sessions among the Cardinals were entertaining and just plain good. I have always been a sucker for Ryan Adam’s perfect mix of rock and country guitar tone, which was on point all night.

At approximately 10:30pm, my eyes were droopy from staring at the giant mesmerizing blue roses hanging in the background and “Barterning Lines” was finishing being played. (Which was missing its Clint Eastwood in the wild west stomping through the double swinging doors of a salon twang, but pleasurable nonetheless.) As the crowd applauded, Mr. Adams mumbled something and quickly exited the stage. The audience continued to clap and hoot expecting an encore and continued to show praise as the house lights came up and Bruce Springsteen started to play loudly over the sound system. Only when the roadies began to carry off the guitars and break down the drums did we realize it was really over. “That’s it?”

Now wait just a minute before I get emails and comments about what an unbelievable musician he is and “Have you not heard the last minute and a half of “Shadowlands?” It’s so beautiful you will cry.” I’m disappointed but not stupid. Love is Hell is still in my top three favorite albums of all time, I am proud to display the Cold Roses emblem on the bumper of my car and I even bought a tot bag. This all is just a slight quarrel between two lovers.