"be brief and tell us everything."


Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Speaking Spanish with Benicio Del Toro.

I love life. (Stay with me I know this is an awful way to start off a blog) But I do. I love looking back at certain milestones during the year i.e. new years, Christmas, an anniversary etc. and noticing the things you know now but didn't know then. The places you hadn't gone. The people you hadn't met.

For instance, this time last year, I hadn't even begun nursing school. Now I'm knee deep in poop and can insert an iv blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back. In January 2007, I didn't even know what a myocardial infarction was or that Vibramycin is used to treat both Acne and Chlamydia proving once again you can't judge a person by their chart.

I didn't know that I would be spending my summer nights up late with Brandon and Laura watching Friends and documentaries on people who fall in love with mail order dolls (true story. Look up Lar's and the Real Girl.)

I hadn't seen The Flaming Lips in concert. A band on my "bands I must see live before I die" list.

I didn't know that I would still be with the love of my life and be so proud of who he is and who he aspires to be.

So, when I read this blog a year from now where do I hope to be? Well, one year closer to being an RN, speaking Spanish with Benicio Del Toro and play the piano like Ben Folds. I hope to be knitting away on a scarf while listening to the new Death Cab album. (Because let's face it, Plans was about 2 years ago). I am blessed to have the coolest people on the planet as my best friends and I hope that my relationship with them continues to be that of which people envy. I hope to run in the Kansas City ½ marathon in October. (feww, I'm tired already.) And who knows, maybe have a ring on this Spanish speaking, piano playing, 20 pounds lighter, knitter extraordinar's finger? =)

But what if these things don't happen? What if Ben Gibbard decides to pursue sunglasses modeling? What if I can't speak a foreign language? What if a loved one dies? What if I give my very, very best and all that I am but its just not enough? What if I FAIL? What if I get sick? What if the carpet that contains my dreams, my certainties, the things I want most in my life is ripped out from underneath me leaving me nose to the floor?

I pray. I pick up the pieces and move on. Take it as a lesson learned and a season in my life that is now over. Be thankful. I listen to my heart. (Because I think that's where the holy spirit is). I make godly decisions and honor God in all I do. And in return he blesses me (warning: cheesy Christianity saying coming up) so I may be a blessing. For he knew your days before you even lived them.

Do everything in life with your entire heart. Never fear failing.

What are YOUR dreams in life? More importantly, what are you waiting for?

"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."

Here is to 2008. May it be everything you planned on and much, much more.