but what about me?

Everyone knows the story of the Prodigal Son; the younger of two brothers who humiliates his family and squanders his fathers inheritance only to return home to a warm hug, new clothes and a huge party. It’s a beautiful parable about grace and forgiveness when it’s the last thing we deserve.

But there is part of this story that is often overlooked. There is someone in this story I find myself relating to more often than the Prodigal Son.

The older brother was loyal to his father. He worked hard, followed commands and never neglected his responsibilities. I imagine, too, that when his younger brother left, he picked up the slack, doing twice as much work as he had before.

So when his younger brother came home from his irresponsible and selfish escapades and he heard the party that was being thrown for him, he became angry, refusing to go in and celebrate. “Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends; but when this son of years came home, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.” (Luke 15:29-30)

At first he sounds like a whiny child, throwing a temper tantrum because his brother has something he wants. But he sort of has a point, doesn’t he? He never left, never put his father through such heartache, never insulted his family and yet, his brother, an irresponsible, egotistical prick comes back home and gets all the nicest things while he is left with nothing? It doesn’t seem fair.

“We’ve always done everything right! We tithe; we spend our money wisely and save accordingly. I’ve seen how irresponsible they are so why does it seem like their business is doing so well and we are barely making ends meet? Why do they make more money than we do when they have screwed up so many times and we’ve been so faithful?”

“I am constantly working hard for my company. I work late, I come in early and I sacrifice time with my family to help others. Yet, no one ever recognizes the good that I do. Everyone praises her for just doing her job while all the extra I do is overlooked and never acknowledged.”

“I’ve dedicated my life to Christ and those around me who never give him a second thought seem to have it so much easier.”

“I’m tired of doing good when it doesn’t even seem to matter anyway.”

The older brother had the privilege of serving his father and he allowed that privilege to turn into a resentful obligation in his heart.

Ouch.

Sins of the heart are so much harder to repent from because they are so much easier to hide. That’s why Jesus so frequently speaks to the issues of our hearts, the things only we think and feel and know. Things that if we allow to fester and go un-named, will eat us up from the inside out. Wanting to be noticed and acknowledged, especially for the hard work that we do, is normal human nature, yet Christ calls us to die to ourselves. The sinful attitudes of our hearts have a way of becoming oddly comforting and affirming and if we allow them to go unchallenged, they will eventually hold us captive. And Jesus came to set the captive free.

The father came out and began pleading with the older brother to join the celebration. The older brother had also sinned and the Father is offering the same grace and forgiveness to him.

The text never tells us what the older son decided to do. But I pray that as I stand daily on the threshold of grace, I choose to recognize my need for a savior and joyfully join the party of redemption.