"be brief and tell us everything."


Monday, March 29, 2010

I'm a genie in a bottle. baby.

If I had three wishes one of them would be to travel the world with a blink of an eye. Want to be in an Irish pub drinking a pint with the red-headed-full-bearded natives? BAM! You’re there. Wish to be in center of it all in Tokyo? Just close your eyes and feel the sea of people rushing past you and hear the taxi horns honking. Are you out of town on business and all you want is to sleep in your own king sized bed with your goose-feathered pillow? With this wish you can skip the whole commute home! Twinkle your nose and your standing in the middle of Madison Square garden in 1973 watching Zeppelin in their ninth North American tour. Did I mention this wish surpasses time and space?

But as your wishes are granted you can’t go back and change the past. (Right, Lost?!) So no crazy ideas like “I would go back in time and kill Hitler!” or “I would cast a love spell on Paul Newman circa 1967 and we would fall madly in love and have lots of babies” and certainly no “I would discover America and name the country after me!” Although awesome (especially the idea about naming America after yourself) it can’t happen. Sure you can attend these historic events (that’s kind of the point) but you can’t change history. So attend Christ’s’ execution, witness Leonardo Da Vinci paint the Mona Lisa or hop on board the Titanic. (Heads up: be sure to get on a lifeboat.) But you can’t suggest to Abe Lincoln: “Look I’ve heard that play sucks. You should just stay home tonight.”

That’s the rules. So, where would you go?

Friday, March 12, 2010

Top 10 Albums of 2009 (or seven albums released in ‘09, two that were not and one new artist)

#1 The Life and Times-Tragic Boogie
“You’re all I never wanted.”

A reporter once asked Allen Epley the difference between the success of Shiner and that of The Life and Times. His reply: female fans. (This may explain why every time I see him I turn into a tween at the premiere of Twilight.) Simply put, The Life and Times transcends gender, social economic class, sexual orientation, religion and martial status. Ok, that may be a bit of a stretch but if good rock music is what you’re into, you will appreciate this album. From beginning to end, “Tragic Boogie” carries that distinct poise of uniquely heavy, raw and ever so satisfying sound that is The Life and Times.
Listen to: Confetti

#2 Mew-No More Stories/Are Told Today/I’m Sorry/They Washed Away//No More Stories/The World is Grey/I’m Tired/Lets Wash Away
“Sometimes I’ve got nothing to say. Nothing to sing about.”

Mew reminds me of…. they sound similar to… if you mixed together…. oh screw it you can’t describe Mew. They bring a sound that can only hail from a place like Denmark. It’s experimental with European flair and self-confidence. Songs such as "Repeater Beater" and "Silas the Magic Car" induce a vision of an arena-sized audience singing along to this album that is strangely inspiring and encouraging.
Listen to: Hawaii


(Do you think these guys know how cool they are?)

#3 Silversun Pickups-Swoon
“And when I know you're safe and dreaming my escape plan’s in full swing.”

The Silversun Pickups are an industrial sounding rock band that somehow manages to stay easy on the ears and never feels overbearing. Each track on "Swoon" is over four and a half minutes long but avoids sounding redundant. Its lyrics are simple and effortless making it impossible for me not to sing along to. This album is the perfect follow up to "Carnavas," keeping their signature sound while showing their expanding talent and ability.
Listen to: The Royal We

#4 The Swell Season-Strict Joy
“I’m not what I promised you I would become.”

Could this be a record? The first time a band makes a top 10 list two years in a row? Even though they cheated in making the list last year (refer to Top Albums of 2008) The Swell Season easily fills the number four spot. "Strict Joy" may not be as straightforward as the "Once" soundtrack, but it still brings an air of sincerity. Glen Hansard’s voice is harsh and strong, yet pure and demands to be listened to and taken seriously. I believe this band is easily and often overlooked, but given the opportunity, will be hard to ignore for much longer.
Listen to: High Horse


#5 Them Crooked Vultures-Self Titled
“If sex is a weapon then smash! Boom! Pow! How you like me now?”

Wikipedia describes Them Crooked Vultures as “a rock super group.” Ah, ya think? (If Allen Epley makes me a prepubescent girl during Twilight, Josh Homme makes me a… well, you get the idea.) Them Crooked Vultures produced an album oozing natural talent and elaborately arranged elements. Songs like "New Fang" include multi layered, sexy sounds with intricate guitar parts. Seriously, what else were you expecting from Josh Homme, John Paul Jones and Dave Grohl?
Listen to: Mind Eraser, No Chaser

#6 The Dead Weather-Horehound
“I like to drag you by the hair and hang you up from the heavens.”

A collaboration of sorts, The Dead Weather combines the strength of Queens of the Stone Ages Dean Fertita, Alison Mosshart from The Kills and of course Jack White for an album that seeps dirty southern rock. "Horehound" is a bit rough around the edges creating dark and dusty songs like "Rocking Horse" and "I Cut Like a Buffalo." Jack White is a total bad ass and his mysterious, leather jacket wearing, old soul personally spills into his music and this album is no exception.
Listen to: Treat Me Like Your Mother


#7 Appleseed Cast-Sagarmatha
“All sorrows are wasted on you.”

Speaking of easily overlooked, how come no one ever talks about this band? As a writer, I consider myself somewhat of a lyrics gal but this extremely instrumental album lured me in. Unlike some records that take a couple of “listen-through’s” to get into, "Sagarmatha" is immediately enjoyable from the very first song. With its smooth and groovy rhythms, I find myself constantly revisiting this album and enjoying it more and more with each listen. "Sagarmatha" may be one of the first heavily instrumental albums that I actually find satisfying without wishing the band would add lyrics.
Listen to: A Bright Light

(Sure, I listened to other new albums that came out this year, but truthfully, these are the only ones I felt like were worthy to be placed in a top 10 list. So instead of discussing mediocre albums just for the sake of taking up space, I decided to do an artist and two albums I “rediscovered” this year that I really enjoyed. So suck it.)

#8 Lady Gaga
“I saw Lady Gaga backstage but I almost didn’t recognize her because she wasn’t in orbit.” Ellen Degeneres

Before I lose all my music cred, let me explain. No, I don’t own "The Fame Monster" but Lady Gaga is one of the most mesmerizing and innovative pop stars to come along in years. As a classically trained pianist, she is truly talented and unique-someone who wears red lace over her entire body or nothing but plastic bubbles isn’t really worried about making a best-dressed list. Her performance on the Video Music Awards was beautifully tragic and watching her live is hypnotizing. She may not produce albums or be a musician like the other bands mentioned but is she an entertainer? A performer? An artist? Absolutely.
Listen to: Paparazzi



#9 The Arcade Fire-Funeral (2004)
“And if the snow buries my, my neighborhood…then I’ll dig a tunnel from my window to yours.”

There is a place for everyone in Arcade Fire including those who’s mothers made them take French horn lessons in high school and that guy who taught himself to play the xylophone. The multiple instrumentation in "Funeral" brings a sense of community and belonging. (No, it’s not just because four of the 10 songs on the album have the word “neighborhood” in the title.) I love the fullness and optimism of this band, which is manifested perfectly in "Wake Up" (also known as that song during the Where the Wild Things Are trailer that almost made you cry.) What other band are you going to find that incorporates the hurdy gurdy and makes it sound so cool?
Listen to: Wake Up


#10 Fiona Apple-Tidal (1996)
“And it’s a sad, sad world when a girl will break a boy just because she can.”

I will admit this record has been on my ipod for years simply because of "Criminal." But with a classical and dreamy sound and lyrics that somehow combine vulnerability and girl power, Fiona Apple does more on this album then produce one of the best songs of the 90’s. She reveals a softer side in "Never Is A Promise" and jazz like inclination with "Slow Like Honey." But then there is the song "Criminal" and its overtly sexual and filthy video with offensively skinny girls in their underwear that for some reason makes me want to be Fiona Apple. "Tidal" blends the grunge and dirt of the 90’s with beauty and elegance and manages to make it all work.
Listen to: Sleep To Dream


And why you are there, just for fun, watch this video too. (Unless you don’t like Zach Galifianakis)