You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

I had a dream the other night that my boyfriend (Brandon) was a finalist on American Idol. Being the loving, supportive girlfriend I am I hadn’t seen him perform even once. When I finally did decide to sit in the audience, he sang like Ben Folds and the microphone stand kept falling down so he had to sing on his knees.

David Cook was there making out with some Mexican chick and asked me to lay hands on him and pray that he would marry the right girl.

Did I mention that there was a box of chocolates in the bathroom and I wanted to steal one but this little black kid kept watching me so when he finally turned around I grabbed one and ran out?

Disclaimer: this dream is entirely true.

I am thinking about starting a blogspot-making public my story ideas and daily writings. Would you read it? Oh who cares, I didn’t ask you anyway.

I want to be on the creative team at PIXAR. I want to help come up with character ideas and the adventures they go on. But the best idea I’ve ever had was Sam Spaghetti-the story of a young boy with noodles for limbs, meatballs for eyes and a breadstick for a mouth and his daily struggle not to get eaten.

Oh and facebook should limit the number of “I have the most perfect spouse ever! Seriously, so wonderful!” status updates. Can we say overcompensating? we get it. now stop.

A Mere Lovers Spat.

Ryan Adams show last night in Kansas City can be adequately compared to Joaquin Phoenix’s interview recently on The Tonight Show with David Letterman: funny and entertaining, but not what you hoped to see. Ryan Adams half assed the whole show and literally left hundreds of fans last night saying, “That’s it?”

I feel like I’ve been dumped. Via text. The relationship started going sour when he took a break approximately 30 minutes into the set so the audience could get “more booze.” The crowd looked down at their full clear plastic cups of beer and thought to themselves, “I’m good. Didn’t the show just start?” (Yes, it had and it started almost 45 minutes late.) Things continued to go downhill with a faster rendition of “Everybody Knows.” The quick beat remix sounded rushed and sloppy.

He played as if he just wanted the whole night to be over. I know this leg of the tour was a make up and he announced his retirement and blah blah blah. However, you are a musician. You are paid (and richly I assume) to play the guitar with your mates for three hours a night to people who absolutely adore you. Fake it for all I care.

Oh but there were positives about last night. Very little was played off their new album and was replaced with songs such as “Come Pick Me Up” and “I See Monsters.” Frequent jam sessions among the Cardinals were entertaining and just plain good. I have always been a sucker for Ryan Adam’s perfect mix of rock and country guitar tone, which was on point all night.

At approximately 10:30pm, my eyes were droopy from staring at the giant mesmerizing blue roses hanging in the background and “Barterning Lines” was finishing being played. (Which was missing its Clint Eastwood in the wild west stomping through the double swinging doors of a salon twang, but pleasurable nonetheless.) As the crowd applauded, Mr. Adams mumbled something and quickly exited the stage. The audience continued to clap and hoot expecting an encore and continued to show praise as the house lights came up and Bruce Springsteen started to play loudly over the sound system. Only when the roadies began to carry off the guitars and break down the drums did we realize it was really over. “That’s it?”

Now wait just a minute before I get emails and comments about what an unbelievable musician he is and “Have you not heard the last minute and a half of “Shadowlands?” It’s so beautiful you will cry.” I’m disappointed but not stupid. Love is Hell is still in my top three favorite albums of all time, I am proud to display the Cold Roses emblem on the bumper of my car and I even bought a tot bag. This all is just a slight quarrel between two lovers.

25 Things About Me.

1. I know way too much about celebrity gossip (Did you know that Natalie Portman isn't even her real name?)

2. I played basketball my first semester in college.

3. My first kiss was when I was 18 years old.

4. As a child, I never believed in Santa Claus but believed in leprechauns so much so, that I built a trap to catch one. (Unfortunately I failed)

5. I only have one grandparent still living.

6. I'm writing a novel.

7. I want to play Veruca Salt in the stage production of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory someday.

8. I take my coffee black.

9. I have 3 different journals that I write in frequently.

10. I have an unnatural fascination with quicksand. You can’t tell it’s there and you just start to sink and the more you struggle to get out the more you sink deeper and deeper-It’s just weird.

11. I am in nursing school and want to spend the rest of my life working with sick babies.

12. I bet I can run farther than you.

13. I want to be a guest on a late night television show.

14. I like Kate Winslet.

15. I do not like Kate Hudson.

16. I hold the second place school record at my high school for most goals scored during a career on the soccer team.

17. I wish Brandon could grow a beard like Allen Epley. (But I love him just the way he is)

18. If I could have any job in the entire world, I would write movie and music reviews for Rolling Stone.

19. I still don’t fully understand how the moon affects the ocean’s tide.

20. Cottage cheese makes my butt twitch.

21. I would move to Chicago in a heartbeat.

22. My first job was at CiCis Pizza.

23. I can’t spell.

24. I HaTe WhEn PeOpLe TyPe LiKe ThIs.

25. I wouldn't mind if Dr. House gave ME a check up.

Top Albums of 2008.

#1 KINGS OF LEON Only By the Night

I once read an article in which the lead singer of the Kings of Leon said, "I want each new record to sound like we are taking steps forward as musicians and each album is slightly different, yet better than the last." Bravo, boys. Bravo.

LISTEN TO: Notion

#2 JENNY LEWIS Acid Tongue

Add 3 cups Jenny Lewis, a splash of Elvis Costello, plus a pinch of M. Ward and you have the deliciousness that is Acid Tongue. A bit southern rock, a bit country and a lot cool, this album came in a very VERY close second.

LISTEN TO: Carpetbaggers

#3 THE SWELL SEASON (GLEN HANSARD and MARKETA IRGLOVA) Once Soundtrack

Ok, I'm cheating a little bit. This movie came out back in 2006, but exploded while the couple was on tour in early 2008. After seeing them at the Uptown in May, I can safely say it was one of my favorite shows ever. Can music and emotion get any more raw and honest? When Glen Hansard, with just his voice and his accustic guitar belts, "So this is what you've waited for. Your chance to even up the score…If you have something to say, say it to me now," it gives me chills almost every time. We can all relate and appreciate the honesty this album brings.

LISTEN TO: Say It to Me Now

#4 MGMT Oracular Spectacular

Don't let the dance genre scare you! This album is creative, catchy and well, dance music for non-dance music fans. Thank you MGMT for your honest lyrics and for showing me that not all dance music has to suck.

LISTEN TO: Kids

#5 VANESSA HUDGENS Identified

This is a complete joke.

#6 COLDPLAY Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends

I am a fan of Coldplay because of Parachutes. After the release of X&Y, I began to reconsider my admiration for Chris Martin. Thank God this album doesn't sound like X&Y. Viva La Vida is so outside of the box for Coldplay and it works. From the first 15 seconds of the first track, I knew Coldplay was back.

LISTEN TO: Lost!

#7 MY MORNING JACKET Evil Urges

This album seeps sexiness and individuality. The vast contrast between the first and second songs makes you wonder if you are even listening to the same album. But both songs rule. (For lack of better terms) A few songs later, a love song croons "I want to thank you for all that you are." No, thank YOU.

LISTEN TO: Touch ME I'm Going to Scream

#8 DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE Narrow Stairs

It's no Photo Album, but Narrow Stairs shows consistency among one of the pillars of indie rock music. Brilliant lyrics never seem to be in short supply at the Gibbard house and with his recent engagement to She and Him front woman, Zooey Deschanel, I don't think he is going to run out anytime soon. Keep falling in love and going on self finding explorations, Death Cab. Just be sure to come back and write amazing songs.

LISTEN TO: Cath

#9 RYAN ADAMS AND THE CARDNALS Cardinology

Can Ryan Adams do any wrong? Ok, so whiskeytown isn't my favorite, but every since going solo, I can't get enough. The man himself is a lyrical, tasty guitar licks genius. That's why when a few days ago when he announced his retirement, the music gods shouted, "NO! Our masterpiece has lost his way!" Ryan Adams was born to be a musician. How else can you explain how album after album his fails to disappoint?

LYRICS: Cobwebs

#10 JAY Z The Black Album MUSE Black Holes & Revelations SILVERSUN PICKUPS Carnavas

I'm having a difficult time thinking of an album for the final slot, so I decided to list the albums I have been listening to a great deal lately. (It's my list and I can do what I want) JAY Z may be the coolest dude on the planet, MUSE brings the energy and rock every single time and could someone please remove the SILVERSUN PICKUPS out of my cd player? I've listened to that thing so many times it barely works.

LISTEN TO: JAY Z 99 Problems MUSE City of Delusion SILVERSUN PICKUPS Well Thought Out Twinkles

Your thoughts?

I Watched Michael Phelps Win 874 Gold Metals.

"So this is the New Year and I don't feel any different." (Oh come on! I had to do it. For old times sake.) At the beginning of the 2008, goals were made, then met or missed.

I wanted to be one year closer to being an RN-check! Another ambition was to be speaking Spanish with Benicio Del Toro. I did pass my Spanish class but as far as meeting Benicio Del Toro, he hasn't replied to any of my emails. Learn to play the piano was next and I have been taking piano lessons for a year now. (That shiz is hard!) For some reason, learning to knit made the cut and I accomplished this completely un-sexy goal thanks to youtube. I wished upon a star for a new Death Cab album and my wish came true. I wanted to be engaged by now, but I'm not and I'm completely ok with that. I'm still in love with my best friend who I can see and talk to almost everyday and that is good enough for me, for now. I'm excited for what the future holds, but know that God's timing is more important then ours. No ½ marathon was ran, but I did participate in a triathlon. (Ok, so it rained and we only did the swim and run portion but it's about the journey, not the destination, right?)

Oh 2008. You broke my heart, made me laugh and proved me wrong. At the beginning of our time together, Brandon went to Australia. That's right, as in crocodiles and kangaroos Australia. Did I mention New Zealand? Yeah, he went there too. I went to Belize in March on my first of many, many nursing mission trips. Mr. 2008, you were filled with surprises including the birth of my first (adopted) nephew Liam Aaron Kackley and the untimely and unfair death of my sweet, easy going, comical (but slightly hard of hearing) grandma Betty. I went to my favorite place on earth: Chicago. (If that city were a man, it would be Hugh Jackman.) I saw My Morning Jacket at the Uptown, which reminded me what music is suppose to sound like. I fell in love with Kings of Leon and Silversun Pickups and watched Michael Phelps win 874 gold medals during the Olympics. In November, history was made as Barack Obama was elected as our next president. (Despite my vote for the Ron Paul Revolution.) But everything must come to an end and I have met someone else. (Ok, this is a little creepy but give it a chance.)

2009 can offer me so much more than 2008 can now. For instance, I want to listen to every single song on my ipod. (Good goal Brit-aim high!) We aren't talking about a simple shuffle here people. We are talking roughly 4,034 songs. That's 11 days, 13 hours, 49 minutes and 23 seconds of music. (As of now.) This includes everything from All Time Quarter Back to Zwan. In 2009, everytime I see a Salvation Army bell ringer during Christmas, I want to give them change. I want to run a ½ marathon. (Yes, this is a repeat goal.) I want to have ONE SEMESTER LEFT of nursing school at the end of 2009. I want to write a novel, or at least take a respectable and giant step towards writing one. I want to constantly be in the will of God and reflect his love, tenderness and attitude.

2008, I'm moving on and getting over you. I'm throwing away your pictures and giving you back the t-shirts you let me borrow. (Except for that blue "Colorado Springs" one: It fits me like a glove!) I'm diving head first into the arms of 2009 and not looking back.

I suggest you reader, to do the same.